The Importance of Dialog

   Dialog is (1) the communication between two or more characters in a story and (2) the thoughts of individual characters - internal communication. It is a powerful tool often poorly used as little more than filler, which is a literary crime. Whether appearing in a novel, screenplay, short story, corporate film or DVD, dialog can move your story quickly and effectively or it can drag it down so that the reader, viewer or listener gives up and moves on to something better written - the back of a cereal box, for example. When considering the essential rule of "show don't tell" you are considering in large part how dialog will be used in your writing project.

   Consider the following paragraph which could have appeared in my third Caldera novel, Caldera - A Man of Blood.

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   They rode south. Caldera was weak and the cure he had taken the night before caused him to dry heave a couple of times. When they reached an east-west running road, Smith led them east and through a low mountain pass.  Smith was first to break the silence, asking Caldera if he was wanted by the law. His newfound partner replied in the negative and laughed sourly noting that there was no law in Arizona. Smith disagreed slightly and paused to look up to the forest of saguaro cactus that guarded the pass. He asked about the name Prospect, which Caldera had mumbled while delirious the night before. Caldera asked quickly and hotly how he knew about Prospect and was answered just as quickly and just as hotly how Smith had heard the name. The still ailing man was no longer delirious. He told Smith about the Indian who had raised him as a son. He asked Smith about his name "back in the States. Smith's hand moved slowly toward his pistol and he repeated his name with some harshness. Caldera responded with a slight smile that he knew a lot of "Smiths" and that Arizona would truly be an empty desert without the Smith clan to populate it. Smith's hand moved away from his pistol as he laughed.

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   Okay, that's not bad. It tells the story and provides information about the two principals. It's not very good, however. It tells far more than it shows. Let's see how the same bit appears in the actual manuscript.

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   They rode south. Caldera was weak and the cure he had taken the night before caused him to dry heave a couple of times. When they reached an east-west running road Smith led them east and through a low mountain pass.

   Smith was first to break the silence. "You wanted?"

   "Nah. Not by nobody."

   "The law?"

   "Ain't no law in Arizona."

   "There is for some." He paused and looked up to the forest of saguaro cactus that guarded the pass. "Who's this Prospect?"

   Caldera reined in his horse. "How do you know about Prospect?"

   "You was rambling on like a drummer while you was sick. Didn't mean to pry, for Chrissakes." His voice took on a harsh edge.

   "He's my Indian daddy."

   "You don't look Indian."

   "Didn't say he was blood." The tone of his voice indicated his desire to avoid the topic. "You said your name is Smith?"

   "Yeah."

   "What was it back in the States?"

   "Like I said, Smith." His hand moved slowly toward the Colt holstered to his right hip. Apparently he was unaware of the movement - a reflex.

   Caldera pretended not to notice. "I know a lot of Smiths. Long Tom Smith. El Paso Smith. Tangleleg Smith. I recon there wouldn't be no Arizona without the Smith clan."

   Smith's hand moved away from his pistol as he laughed.

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   The use of dialog also moves the story forward and gives the reader some insight into the principles, but it does so in a far more interesting and more readable manner and you get a much better feeling about these two men than in the first example. This is not to say exposition and descriptive passages are irrelevant. They're important and I love writing them, but remember,  narrative inevitably gets between the reader and the characters. By its nature narrative is intrusive. Good dialog takes you into the heart and mind of your characters, brings the reader into the story, and carries him along for a great ride.

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Recommended Reading: Writing Realistic Dialog & Flash Fiction by Harvey Stanbrough.  Check out his website at  h_stanbrough@yahoo.com.